


Adapt or Die

by UmbreonGurl



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Character Study, Gen, a love letter to runeterra kaisa, life with a symbiote, no beta we die like your inting teammates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27542833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbreonGurl/pseuds/UmbreonGurl
Summary: The void does not leave anything alive but monsters, and the only thing that can successfully kill a monster is another monster. Adapt or die.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 43





	Adapt or Die

Sometimes, when Kai’Sa closes her eyes, she can still feel it—the chittering, the bone deep cold, the gnawing darkness waiting to eat her away the moment she lets her guard down for even so much as a second. The void lingers in her very bones like a scar, courses through her veins like formaldehyde, bitter and unnatural, _wrong._ And yet—at the same time, she can’t remember what it’s like to live without it’s influence.

Kai’Sa knows there was a time before. The memories linger on the tip of her tongue, fuzzy and never quite within reach, but _there_. Father tries to tell her about it sometimes, but even he has trouble with the details, slipping and forgetting the name of the town they once lived in or Mother’s old habits. 

He’s different now. They both are.

The void changes you—it chews you up and spits you back out—and the people who manage to return are never the same. They can’t be; in the darkness you must evolve to live.

She and Father are survivors, living and breathing and fighting to see another day, but _alive_ —that is another matter entirely. They are dead men walking, echoes of people long left behind in the cavernous depths of Icathia.

The desert sands do not know them anymore, but still they walk. Father walks for revenge; Kai’Sa walks so that no others will have to. If she does not, then who will? 

The void does not leave anything alive but monsters, and the only thing that can successfully kill a monster is another monster. Adapt or die.

* * *

People are scared of her. It’s something Kai’Sa has come to expect by now, but it still manages to surprise her how they never _listen._

Do they not know what will happen if they continue pointing fingers at their only protectors? Do they not know what will happen if they continue to feed the beast lying in wait under their beds at night? Do they not know what will happen, or do they simply not care?

They are questions Kai’Sa asks herself over and over again, and yet she can never seem to find any answers.

How many villages must it take for them to understand?

The answer is not two hundred and forty-seven, but maybe two hundred and forty-eight will be enough. Kai’Sa hopes so. She really, really does.

The chill that runs from her head down to her toes makes her highly suspect it won’t be, and the doors that slam in her face only confirm it.

Perhaps two hundred and forty-nine is the magic number. Even if it is not, she must keep on moving. Adapt or die. 

* * *

Kai’Sa is hungry. It is something that never quite goes away, constantly lingering at the back of her mind.

Some days it is a slight itch, and some days it is downright unbearable—a bone-deep pull that is impossible to ignore, voices in her head that are not her own screaming to _consume consume consume._ At that point, it is no longer a suggestion to eat—but a requirement, and she is helpless to do anything but listen. 

The flesh that cocoons her shoulders practically purrs with every voidling she slays—one, two, three, and it still wants more. It always wants more—more, more, more. No matter how many of them sizzle at her feet, it will never be enough to quell it completely. 

And that’s okay. She just needs enough to make it ignorable again. It’s a never ending cycle—eat, wait, repeat. Over and over again, she must be ready when the urge strikes. 

She has to be; she cannot risk losing control. Adapt or die.

* * *

Fruit is a rare treat. It’s hard to obtain when most merchants won’t even talk to her, and not common to simply stumble across—in the void, it is nearly impossibly so.

Most of what she gets her hands on is either rotted or half. Kai’Sa knows that many would turn their noses up at a bruised peach. Many of the ones she finds are far beyond that, so soft they practically fall apart under the slightest of touches. 

If she were anyone else, they might make her sick. Scratch that—they _definitely_ would. But it seems her little friend has some benefits after all.

Kai’Sa pretends she does not know she would not _have_ to eat rotting fruit were it not for the creature that lives off her. It’s something she prefers not to think about. She is just as much a part of it as it is a part of her—it is something that cannot be changed anymore.

Her tastes can change, though. She’s recently taken a liking to strawberries. Adapt or die.

* * *

Father leaves often, muttering about Malhazar this or Malhazar that. He is a wanderer, and although their paths sometimes overlap, they do not always.

The way he looks at her sometimes is uncomfortable, as if looking for a person that is no longer there, clinging to some last shred of hope the family they must have had before can magically come back to life. Kai’Sa doesn’t know how to feel about it.

She wants to be grateful. Having someone who knows what it’s like to live in darkness day-in and day-out is cathartic, in a way. At the same time, he is… not an ideal companion, too caught up in the past instead of focusing on the future.

The past is what it is. It cannot be changed. Mother will not suddenly reappear, and although Kai’Sa may have been the girl who lived, she was lucky. Many others did not have that luxury, and if Father keeps on his rage-fueled rampage, they never will. 

The future is changeable, but it requires the focus he will not take away from his revenge. That’s okay. She can handle things just fine without him. Adapt or die.

* * *

Kai’Sa talks to it, sometimes—at least she thinks she does.

It doesn’t really have a voice, per-se, but it brushes against the back of her mind in a way that makes its thoughts clear without having the words to say them. It needs no words—Kai’Sa knows what it means.

They are one and the same, woman and monster, two parts of the same unholy whole. It soothes her when her heart races at night, it urges her on in a fight, sometimes even taking control when she loses it. It’s always there—waiting, listening, flowing across her skin like water, pushing and pulling like the tide. 

It adapts to her every need. When she needs range, the cannons on her shoulders leap to the ready, when she needs blades, they morph to life in her hands. It reads her thoughts before she’s even aware of them, ready to change to meet her every need.

Adapt or die. They’re words the monster lives by as well. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii miss Kai'Sa I smooch you. Listened to her character theme once and then put it on loop and made this. No regrets. Smthn abt ending every scene on the same sentence kinda hits different 😳
> 
> For snippets, updates on what I'm working on, and a shit ton of art retweets, feel free to check out my [twitter.](https://twitter.com/UmbreonGurl)


End file.
